If The Proof Fits -1-

Through the inscrutable void of space and tenebrous recesses of the mind, there lies the boundary of the Unknown.  Journey with us as we seek answers to the greatest mysteries of our time, and open the path to- “The Lowered Limits”, sponsored in part by Teensy’s Tinfoil.  Teensy’s: it’s-

Corin (frustrated raven-haired researcher) - “Not the time for that.”

Nivi (bouncy redheaded camerawoman) - “On this week’s episode, join our intrepid, attractive young researchers as they face the unfathomable terror from the deep: The Crimson Cleaver!”

Corin - “Cut it Nivi.  Please.”

Nivi - “Get it, unfathomable?  Cuz’ it’s in the wat-“

Corin - “Stuff that pie-hole for once and let me think!”

Nivi - “With what, real pie?  Fancy girl, the network’s been too stingy with cash.  Do you think they’d ship a shell if we told them the Cleaver liked it too?”

Corin - “Ugh...you know what?  Okay, sure.  Why not?  I’ll try and save us both while you ring them up and order some friggin’ takeout.”

Nivi - “Alllllllllright…hold on a sec here…”

Corin - “More than a year out and we’ve got squat to show.  I swear, this thing’s teasing us.”

Nivi - “Shh, it’s ringing!  Hey guys, Corin and I have some info for ya’…”

Corin - “I can’t believe they’ve kept us in this tetanus factory for over a year.  I remember they shipped us out of the Cheese Man case the moment it got off schedule.  At this rate they’ve knocked us back to next season; what’re we going to do about that?”

Nivi - “Ya-huh, bye now!  Those guys’re awesome; they’ll buy anything I tell 'em.”

Corin - “Come on, Nivi.”

Nivi - “Got’cha, don’t worry.  I’m listening and…welllll, that’s preciously what I wanted to ask you about!  See, we’ve been chasing this thing up and down the coast forever, but did you ever hatch the idea that - and this is just me thinking here… perhaps we should just get the Cleaver to come to us?”

Corin - “Honestly, I’m really starting to think there isn’t a ‘Cleaver’ at all.”

Nivi - “Exactly, so let me rephrase my question: if we can’t find the Cleaver, why not just make one?”

Corin - “Hmm?”

Nivi - “Think about it: nobody knows what this thing looks like, and they’ll eat up any old answer we throw at ‘em.  Soooo…”

Corin - “You’re giving me that look again.”

Nivi - “Heh, I’ll run it by you over dinner.  You need to relax- we’re eating pie tonight!”

Corin - “You’re still doing it.”

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Part one of a planned ten part (!) sequence commissioned by an anonymous client. A client with some delightfully offbeat ideas - stay tuned for more!