Behemoth: Where No Waistline Has Gone Before -1-

*Jazzy intro plays*

Announcer: And weee’re back!  Back to the1^st NX Galactic Battle of the Bulge!   Sponsored mostly by NX but also sorta’ by Teensy’s Tinfoil too! Teensy’s Tinfoil- harder than steel and heavier than lead.  Don’t just wrap your food, smash it and make it teensy!
For our next contestant, bash those hands together for the luckiest woman in the galaxy- Alexis!  She’s juggled hotdogs for seven consecutive rounds without a mishap or vote off.  In fact, this round has nothing to do with either cooked meats or juggling, we’re just taping her on an improvised set and you guys out there just keep eating it up!  We’ll be right back to more hotdog juggling right after these messages!

Nivi: Freeze the frame.

*bzzt*

Nivi: Hmm…yes.  Yeeeessss.  I think she’s the one.

Corin: What’cha doin’ now?

Nivi: Positively relishing the opportunity in front of us.  Do you see her?

Corin: Pink Hair?  Huh, she’s juggling hotdogs again?

Nivi: Indeed.  Seven straight rounds of hotdogs. The other contestants are off hogtying bat-tigers, what they're supposed to be doing, and the audience is so-so.  But this!  They’re LOVING the hotdogs.  Perhaps even a bit…too much.

Corin: She’s pretty good.

Nivi: No, and that’s the thing.  Before I was able to crush them under my resplendent girth, I used to unicycle.  She’s made all sorts of mistakes- really, I don’t even think she’s ever even seen one before this, but that fact is that she's winning.
The simulations foretold that anyone who could so effortlessly bumble their way through seven rounds of a reality TV show like this must have the charisma, spunk, and stand-alone chutzpah to possibly be the one.  The one who may have the whole universe quietly nudging her along to success after success.

Corin: What possible successes does NX not yet have?

Nivi: Those yet unimagined.  I’ve had oodles of fun with SAuCE, dabbled in darn near all kingdoms, phylums, and orders with it, but I fear I’ve finally hit a wall.  I’ve dreamt of combinations the universe won’t allow, but if I were able to tap into someone like Alexis here…

Corin:   Someone the universe wants to succeed.

Nivi: Then together we could bend the rules and make something glorious.  I’ve got a long-winded story to tell you about what wonders await us.

Corin: Will the folks sitting at home hear it too?

Nivi: Nah, but go grab some popcorn, it’s going to be a while.

Corin: Err…hmm…doesn’t seem to be popped.

Nivi: It’s yell-activated popcorn, give it a try.

Corin: Shoot, ya know what?  Why not.  HEL-LOOOOO-*pop!*

*kernels popping*

Nivi: Like it?

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Part one of Behemoth: Where No Waistline Has Gone Before, the third installment in a a HUGE! sequence of HUGE! commissions brought to you by a very anonymous and very hilarious client!

If The Proof Fits - Part 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

The Alchemy Of Enormity - Part 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11